Recent American culinary innovations

American grocery stores are totally overwhelming – so many food-like substances that we don’t have in Switzerland! It’s really fun to explore, but sometime I’m a little, um, disturbed by what I find. Here are some products I’ve discovered in the past couple days that I don’t think existed last time I was in this country…

Piggies ‘n’ Pancakes On a Stick, maple syrup flavor in each bite! I think I was warned about these somewhere

Candy bar breakfast cereal! Just one of the many reasons why this chart isn’t surprising (although I am surprised that Switzerland is missing from it).

Strawberry kiwi protein water. Huh? Because we just can’t be bothered to eat our protein anymore?

This, my friends, is Dirty Martini Mix. All I have to say is thank god someone finally came up with this stuff! Adding olive brine to vodka was always so gosh darn cumbersome. Now we can just add this stuff to vodka instead. And it contains that delicious artificial color that traditional dirty martinis were always lacking. Sweet.

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9 thoughts on “Recent American culinary innovations

  1. some stuff you can find in the USA or Australia i miss in Switzerland. But i also learned that they sell a lot of crap. also cheap quality stuff. and this is the big advantage in switzerland. everythuing you can buy is normaly pretty good quality.

  2. I’m not going to lie, I tried those sausages wrapped in a pancake things before I left the US last Christmas, and I think they’re just delicious. Blame my Midwest upbringing which consisted of Pizza Hut and KFC for dinner on most nights. They sound like the ultimate embodiment of American excess, but, like Taco Bell, they’re so bad, they’re good…

  3. Sausage on a Stick …. Sonic drive ins in USA! OH heavens! Would that Germany had even a cheap version!

  4. You make me laugh, especially the bit about the dirty martini mix. Good lord, the crap they come up with to fill those gigantic warehouses they call supermarkets…

  5. Whenever I see this kind of stuff at the grocery store, I just feel kind of sorry for the people who have to sit around boardrooms thinking it up. There’s something so desperate about it.

  6. Jul, thank goodness I can always count on you to literally make me laugh out loud in front of my computer. This stuff is absolutely hilarious. I was just chatting with my mom the other day about how in the States what we do is basically repackage stuff or rework it–why do we have such a short food attention span? Last time I was back in the States (last Xmas) all the rage was in “100 Calorie Snack Packs” for crackers, etc. And I’m thinking, um, looking at the calorie chart on the box and dividing into 100-cal baggies, no, eh? And what’s the point of a 100-cal bag anyways?

    Perplexity sets in.

  7. I noticed the 100-calorie packs in the store, too. I guess they’re for people too lazy to do math or who feel compelled to eat an entire package once they open it, no matter the size? Very silly.

    NHS – I skipped the sausage pancake wraps, but I did buy some vegetarian corn dogs, which are almost as ridiculous. :)

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