Cologne: a city full of beer pansies?

While I admit that nearly 8 months in Munich has possibly skewed my perception a bit on such things… doesn’t 2 dl (less than 7 oz) seem a little too small to be considered a ‘beer’? (Note the fork I placed in the photo to the left, so you can appreciate just how ridiculously diminutive the beer is.)

Right, so I spent a few hours in Cologne last week. I haven’t been outside of Bavaria (yet inside Germany) very many times in the past few months, so I was on the lookout for regional differences. The one that kept striking me over and over: the itty bitty beers everyone was drinking. I mean, I am the first to admit that a Maβ* of beer is excessive, but Munich’s standard restaurant-sized beer, half a liter, seems to be about right.

In Cologne, these delicate little beer thimbles are transported in their own little carriers by the waiter. Each kranz (‘wreath’) carries 11 itty-bitty beers. If you were to pour all 11 of them all into proper beer-drinking vessels, you would have just over two Munich-sized beers. Clearly the Oktoberfest tents will not be importing waiters from Cologne.

The one benefit of such teeny-tiny beers, I suppose, is that there isn’t a chance for the beer to get even a little bit warm before you are done with it. And I am a firm believer that pale-urine-colored beers should be drunk as cold as possible (if they are going to be consumed at all). Not that Kölsch is all that bad, as far as pale-urine-colored beers go. It’s just that, well, it’s nice to have a choice of other-colored beers, too, you know? When you walk into a Munich brewery (or basically any Munich establishment that serves beverages), you generally have four beer choices: a helles, a dunkeles, a weiβbier, and a dunkeles weiβbier. It’s not an NYC beer bar, but it will do.

Not so at Früh**, Cologne’s premiere brewery-restaurant. Kölsch was basically it. Two deciliters of it. To look on the bright side yet again, at least my waiter was right there with a fresh beer every time I finished mine (which occurred every two minutes or so). And when the waiter has to come around so often, that makes the service somewhat better than it is in a typical Munich joint.

* A Maβ of beer is one liter, and is the standard size available in a Munich beer garden. In many cases, nothing smaller is available (unless you are drinking weiβbier).
** Incidentally, ‘früh’ means ‘early’ in German, leading me briefly to the hypothesis that 2 dl of beer was meant to be a breakfast portion. That might make sense…

19 thoughts on “Cologne: a city full of beer pansies?”

  1. I haven’t spent much time in Munich (will be there for Oktobefest, however), but it seems small to me. Here in the wine country of Germany, we drink .51l of wine in a pour. I can hardly look at standard white wine glasses anymore without grimacing.

  2. Früh is good — and a popular, scenic spot — but Kölschmäßig I prefer Gaffel and the few times I tried it, I really liked Reißdorfer. Stay away from Küppers.

    I have yet to try an Alt — got any experience with that?

  3. I would say that whether Bavaria is “inside Germany” is open to debate, but that’s another question entirely. 🙂

    Here in northern Germany we have the “7 minute Pils”, an excuse for slow service masquerading as gastronomic tradition that thankfully seems to be dying out.

  4. I agree with you that the half-liter size of beer is just right. In fact, I only buy the 50cl cans of beer for the beer fridge at home. No…correct that. I also buy 75cl bottles of Belgian beer and one liter cans of Cains ale. As far as I’m concerned, each one counts as ONE beer in the no-more-than-two-beers-per-day “rule”.

  5. Maybe you can help me- I’m not much of a beer drinker (would rather wine or cider) but when I drink beer, what I want is an Indian Pale Ale. I can get the equivalent by drinking Cobra bier or other Indian beers- is there a German equivalent? No waiter seems to understand what a hoppy beer is, even with a worterbuch in hand.

  6. hey you’re a few steps from Starbucks. 😉

    Some bars (not Koelsch houses) have moved to serving Koelsch in .3 or .4 glasses, but traditionally it’s supposed to be fresh, thus the little .2 glasses.

    Honestly, I’ve become a big fan of the Koelsch taste over time, so much that those are the only beers I’ll drink. In particular, if you come back to Cologne again, try a few of the different Koelsches. A different one from Frueh may make a better impression.

  7. If you really want to have fun in Cologne, just sit down and order an “Alt” beer. They will kill you, in the best case, becaus “Alt” (brown beer) is typcial for Düsseldorf, the neighbour town. I think the size of the glass is the same, at least 🙂

  8. G – good question. As far as I know, the Germans aren’t very big into ales at all. They’re also not too into variety, when it comes to what is served in a single locale, so if you’ve tried the standard Berlin offerings, you may be out of luck (unless there are some specialty beer bars around – surely there’s one or two?). My only suggestion is to abandon all your preconceived notions of what you like and just try everything until you find one that hits the spot. 🙂

  9. Cliff – I’m pretty sure I’ve had an alt at some point, but I can’t say it left a lasting impression on me either way.

  10. Adrian – I know some people who make marks on their own coasters, to remember how many beers they’ve had…

    Papascott – you mean they make you wait a whole 7 minutes for a new beer? That’s scandalous! 🙂

    CN – true, but I can’t say that ‘cute’ is an attribute I’ve learned to appreciate in a beer.

    TBF – you’d have trouble with that rule in Cologne, I fear. Best to stay away, if you don’t want to be hopelessly sober.

  11. Heather – glad to hear they are branching out into larger sizes. 🙂

    Jens – perhaps I will just stick to ordering ‘ein Bier’ wherever I am. That way no one gets offended.(I try my best not to offend people who will be handling my food and beverage…)

  12. I could tell I was getting too old when we went to Munich and even a half-liter was too big, so I ordered a quarter-liter and later saw that on the menu it was called “lady size.”

  13. Someone needs to defend Cologne and Kölsch here!!
    I don’t claim to be a connoiseur of Kölsch, but I I like Früh.
    The custom of the small glasses ensures that the alcohol doesn’t have time to evaporate. And the glass size is a form of equality– no more “ladies-size” glasses!
    I admit to being a beer pansy. I can’t finish an Oktoberfest Maß. But on the other hand I don’t want to end up looking like FJ Strauss either.
    All that said, I agree that there is not enough variety here in the local breweries, and personally I think the very best beers are from Belgium. (Now, THERE is variety!!)

  14. The custom of the small glasses ensures that the alcohol doesn’t have time to evaporate.

    Now there’s something I would have never suspected. Think of all the evaporated alcohol which must be in the air in Munich!

    Thanks for sticking up for Kölsch, Vailian. The conversation was entirely too lopsided – I was starting to feel bad for Cologne. 🙂

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