Enough with the hugging already, Europe

Sometimes when I get overwhelmed with the current political reality, I like to fall back into this alternate version:



I love you, President Gore.

Obamania sweeps through Germany

Germany is all abuzz today as Obama prepares to speak in Berlin. He is on the cover of magazines such as Der Spiegel and Stern. The Sueddeutsche Zeitung is chronicling his every move throughout the day. The televised pre-game show began hours ago.

He will be speaking in front of the Siegessäule, a good 2 km away from the Brandenburger Gate, his first choice of venue. This move was supposedly to appease Merkel, who was not happy with Obama's first location choice. As much as I love Obama, I too found myself questioning the idea of this speech. Presidential performances in Berlin are the stuff of legends, but Obama isn't exactly president yet. Why is he trying to trick me into believing he is?

Regardless of my initial skepticism, today I find myself eagerly anticipating this evening's speech. I hope it will be gorgeous. Legendary, even.

Earlier this afternoon a reporter in Berlin asked his interviewee, "So, what's the German sentence going to be?" Good question, no? "Ich bin ein Berliner" has already been taken. "Ja, wir können" seems a little too obvious. So what do you think it should be?

ETA (18:45): Wow, look at that crowd! I do believe that it extends all the way to the Brandenburger Gate itself...

ETA (19:14): The crowd is estimated at 100,000 or more. The German commentators keep saying how surprised they are that this reception is for a politician (and an American one at that) and not a rock star.

ETA (20:02): Loved it. It's hard to decide which channel's commentary to watch (the speech was on at least 6). We watched the speech itself on CNN to avoid the simultaneous translation.

One last Gatlinburg t-shirt post

As you've already seen here and here, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, is obviously one of the world's most thrilling t-shirt shopping destinations. Here are a couple more of the gems we found.

Poor guy must have a hell of a time getting through airport security.





OK, this isn't technically a t-shirt. But still, isn't it charming?










Somehow this shirt doesn't seem to fit in with the others.











Yes, sir.











I'm dying to know what I could learn about history from someone wearing this.

More southern vittles

OK, I promise, just a few more posts and we'll be back to our regularly-scheduled blogging about the fabulous expat life in Zurich. But I still have a little bit of my trip to the southern US to make fun of share with you.


As usual on my trips to the US, Mexican food was high on my list of must-eats (95% of American expats will probably tell you the same thing). Zurich has several Mexican restaurants, each one more disappointing than the last. The Swiss seem to think the addition of tomatoes qualifies a food as 'spicy'; these are not the kind of people one should buy Mexican food from. Anyway, I digress. The veggie quesadilla in the picture wasn't the most authentic, but it was pretty damn good. But it did remind me of a trend I noticed in the US this time around: the adding of pure high-calorie no-nutritional-value-whatsoever fat to pretty much every dish (even when the food already contains plenty of fat). Everywhere you look there are giant scoops of sour cream, butter, and creamy dressings waiting to fatten up your meal. Have to get those calories in somehow!


You might not be able to read it, but one of the food offerings on this banner is 'possum.' No, I didn't try it.


Remember how I told you they like to deep fry everything in the south? This is a veggie plate I had at a nice restaurant in Chattanooga. Those brown things are deep-fried mashed potatoes.


Please, enjoy American food responsibly.

More signs you may be in the Bible Belt

The southeastern US is known for its militant vocal Christianity. This manifests itself in all sorts of signs and displays, some of which I shared here. Here are a few more I spotted on my recent trip:


This motel sign tells us not only whether they have vacancy, but when we should trust Jesus (only when the sign is lit up?).


All aboard the abstinence bus! The Bush administration has wasted millions of dollars promoting abstinence programs at home and overseas. These programs have been proven ineffective time and time again, but yet that doesn't seem to make anyone change their mind about using them.


Check this out! God speaks not only through t-shirts; he takes out billboards, too. What ad agency would God use?

There was so much more I wasn't able to catch on film, such as the "Christians never lose" bumper sticker. I'd like to ask some lions what they think about that one.

FYI: American smalltalk protocol change

The standard greeting "Hi, how are you?" has officially been replaced with "Can you believe these gas prices?"

Hope this helps you fit in on your next trip to the states.

I’m a stranger here myself

Greetings from America! No matter how many times I come back to the US, there are some things that always confuse the crap out of me for the first couple days, leaving me wondering if I really am from here. Depending on how long you are away and how much you integrate into your host country, these things could happen to you, too….

Top 5 symptoms of reverse culture shock

1. You are repeatedly surprised that everyone around you is speaking your language, and you can’t stop eavesdropping (it’s just so gosh darn easy!).

2. You are thoroughly delighted by free refills and free water in restaurants. You are confused when your waiter brings the check, without prompting, half way through the main course.

3. You can’t get over the fact that groceries can be purchased at night and on Sunday.

4. You go up to the coffee counter and order something that costs $2. First, you go into your change purse expecting to find $2 coins. Then, once you have figured out you need bills and proudly procure them, you find out that your $2 coffee actually costs $2.16.

5. Everything, from beverages to people to cars to bottles of ketchup, seems GIGANTIC.

What kind of reverse culture shock do you get? My list is very US-specific; I’d love to also hear what happens to expats from other countries when they return home – are the Swiss confused about how efficient the public transport is? Do Italians jump for joy to rediscover fabulous food?

The title of this post is taken from a fabulously funny book by Bill Bryson about his experiences with reverse culture shock when he returned to the US after living in England. It was extremely comforting in the months after I moved from Germany to Arizona several years back.

Ohmygod ohmygod can it be? Jon Stewart in my house?

Normally I think people who blog about TV are stupid bores, but this news is too exciting to ignore: not only is Germany about to get Comedy Central, but they will be broadcasting The Daily Show every single day!

[Yes, I know, we don’t live in Germany, but all our culture (read: TV and music) comes from there, so sometimes we might as well.]

This is monumental for us expats. It’s more important, in terms of Things Expats Miss About The US, than when my local grocery store in eastern Germany started carrying salsa. Or when I started being able to access the New York Times online (yeah, I’ve been an expat for a looooong time). Or when Ali discovered where you can buy ice by the bag in Zurich.

The Daily Show is pretty much the only televised version of the news I’m willing to watch in today’s world. And I love Jon Stewart so much that I even watched the Oscars this year just to get a little more of him (favorite quote: “For those of you keeping score, that’s Martin Scorsese, zero Oscars, Three-sixty Mafia, one Oscar”).

According to the article, they will be showing an edited version of The Daily Show here (taking out things that are too “US-centric”), but hey, it’s a step up from our current situation, which consists of a weekly version of The Daily Show International on CNN (a channel I usually try to avoid) and all the Motherload we can watch over our disappointingly slow internet connection. But we all know what beggars can't be...