Misleading website addresses, part 1

I'm guessing that most visitors to this guy's website don't actually have pigeon removal in mind...

Non-alcoholic beer is fun!

See, it says so right on the bottle.

Where am I supposed to ride this again?

Gotta love superfluous English. Although at least the 'outdoor' on my new bike makes a little more sense than the 'street racer' written in big letters on my skis. (Or could it be that I've been using my skis in the completely wrong environment all these years?)

Not unlike skiing, I learned to ride a bike too late in life to be very good at it. But cycling seems to be such a fun and convenient way to get around in Munich that I figured I might as well give it a try - while investing as little money as possible in the actual bike in case I only end up using it once. Nice bikes supposedly get stolen quite regularly in Munich, so I'm probably better off with my no-name 'outdoor' bike, anyway. Now to figure out the rules of the bike path...

Butt too big?

Then you might want to pick up the latest issue of AssCompact magazine!

If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer a pillow without a political agenda

Does it somehow prevent abortions, you think?

Great chieftan o the puddin' race!

Yesterday evening we were honored to be guests at a traditional Scottish Burns Night, the essential ingredients for which are haggis, whisky (are you Scots out there appreciating my spelling?), and a little poetry. The men in kilts were just an added bonus.

We learned a lot about Scottish culture while sipping on the delicious, warming whisky, important facts such as what kind of shoes are worn with a kilt, why haggis is better than salmon, and a variety of uses for the word 'pudding'.

You've never seen a folk more enamored with their national dish than the Scots and their haggis. This love of a dish based on sheep entrails is hard for a vegetarian like myself to understand. But indeed, the Scots consider haggis so important that they want to make sure that everyone gets a chance to partake: there's even a vegetarian version (entrail-free, naturally).

Without further ado, I give you the dramatic interpretation of Robert Burn's poem 'To A Haggis':


A poem for a haggis from zurika on Vimeo.

I wasn't able to coax anyone into proclaiming 'If it's not Scottish it's crap!' (mainly due to a lack of concerted effort on my part), but there's always next year... lucky for me Burns Night is celebrated each and every January 25th.

What you're missing by not watching DSDS

The one TV show that we watch regularly here is Deutschland Sucht den Superstar, the German version of American Idol. We justify this guilty pleasure by noting that it's good for the husband's German to watch shows in the language, but really we just love watching bad singers with worse English skills try to do what they never should: sing in English.

Now it's late enough in the season that the remaining singers are actually pretty good, so the brilliant producers brought back this guy, Menderes, to do a little low-brow entertaining this week.

Feeling a little too happy?

Then try some of this!

And now for a little illustration of what Deeppresso can do for you...






















(I know, we're freaks.)

Music in Tokyo

As of today, my new favorite band is Bump of Chicken. My love of this group is 100% based on its name alone.
Coming in a close second is Japanese Rap Sta.
Ever wonder what black sounds like?

Just in case you are sitting there wondering why people drink sake...

Japan Japan Japan Japan Japan!

OK so we’re still in Switzerland, but all I can think about is our upcoming trip to Japan. I’m so exciting my head is about to explode. I’ve never been to Japan before, but I suspect it will be something like this (turn your speakers on – you’ll want to sing along).

I don’t want to make any cultural faux pas while I’m there, so could someone please explain to me what is going on in the video? It made perfect sense until the cat hung himself. I didn’t see that one coming at all…

Eternal thanks to Jack for this link.

Ridiculous English

Europe is full of Ridiculous English. In advertisements, in shop windows, and especially on clothing, it's easy to find in almost any country on the continent. In Milan, my husband and I would laugh ourselves silly over the things we'd see on people's chests or in stores, from a sparkly women's shirt bearing the thought-provoking "pink pig always smiles" to the t-shirt that enthusiastically announced the wearer's support for "Sporteam." I am convinced I could make millions selling shirts that say "I don't understand English" or "I have no idea what this shirt says."

For some reason I expected to see less Ridiculous English in Zurich, probably because so many more people here seem to speak Actual English. Surely Ridiculous English would be less appealing here? But alas, it's pretty popular. At least it makes shopping more interesting, like yesterday afternoon when we found these philosophical gems at Coop...