This non-American Life

One last Gatlinburg t-shirt post

As you’ve already seen here and here, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, is obviously one of the world’s most thrilling t-shirt shopping destinations. Here are a couple more of the gems we found.

Poor guy must have a hell of a time getting through airport security.

 

 

 

OK, this isn’t technically a t-shirt. But still, isn’t it charming?

 

 

 

 

 

Somehow this shirt doesn’t seem to fit in with the others.

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, sir.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m dying to know what I could learn about history from someone wearing this.

 

 

 

 

 

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Tags: Americana, funny signs, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, travel, USA

More signs you may be in the Bible Belt

The southeastern US is known for its militant vocal Christianity. This manifests itself in all sorts of signs and displays, some of which I shared here. Here are a few more I spotted on my recent trip:

This motel sign tells us not only whether they have vacancy, but when we should trust Jesus (only when the sign is lit up?).

All aboard the abstinence bus! The Bush administration has wasted millions of dollars promoting abstinence programs at home and overseas. These programs have been proven ineffective time and time again, but yet that doesn’t seem to make anyone change their mind about using them.

Check this out! God speaks not only through t-shirts; he takes out billboards, too. What ad agency would God use?

There was so much more I wasn’t able to catch on film, such as the “Christians never lose” bumper sticker. I’d like to ask some lions what they think about that one.

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Tags: Americana, bible belt, funny signs, Gatlinburg, travel, USA

No such thing as separation of kitsch and state

As I mentioned in my previous post about Gatlinburg, its tourist shops specialize in t-shirts of all sorts. Two big themes are the wearer’s love of the United States of America, and the wearer’s love of Jesus. It seems that love really is best expressed in t-shirt form.

Jesus math!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think what they meant to say is “Welcome to America, a glorious melting pot which welcomes and celebrates all cultures”. It just came out wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s air brushed. It’s an eagle with a tattoo. What’s not to love?

 

 

 

 

 

I bet Jesus would be quite tickled by this shirt, don’t you think? Actually this Reece’s-Jesus shirt was featured in the horror movie documentary Jesus Camp. I’m sure it’s a hot seller.

 

 

 

Whew, so glad to hear that someone over here has experience with this sort of thing.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, that God – always with the snappy come-backs.

 

 

 

 

 

I need someone to make me a t-shirt which expresses my love of kitschy t-shirts.

See also: One last Gatlinburg t-shirt post

9 comments

Tags: Gatlinburg, Tennessee, travel, USA

Gatlinburg: trapping tourists in style

I’ll get back to Europe soon, I promise. But in the meantime, allow me to introduce (to the uninitiated) the town of Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Nestled in the Great Smoky Mountains, Gatlinburg is easily one of the top 10 kitschiest destinations in America (and we all know how much I love kitsch). The main drag is packed with more novelty shops, restaurants, tourists and attractions than you can shake a stick at.

There’s a Guinness Book of World Records museum, a Ripley’s Believe It Or Not museum, and at least five haunted houses. The two prevailing restaurant genres are steakhouses and pancake houses, several of which offer all-you-can-eat brunches with live performances by acts whose names include words like “hillbilly” and “revival”. If you don’t have time to sit, you’ll find plenty of street food options, many of which come on sticks. There are about 100 miniature golf courses, and countless shops where you can dress up in old-timey costumes and pose for wild west wanted posters. Yeah, that kind of town. And did I mention it’s right next door to Dollywood?

But really the best part about Gatlinburg, besides the obese people watching, is the t-shirt shops.

You thought airbrush went out in the 80s? Not in Gatlinburg it didn’t.

My husband and I had a hard time deciding which of these two designs to get to commemorate our trip (and express our eternal love for each other in t-shirt form). Which one would you recommend?

More to come…

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Tags: Gatlinburg, Tennessee, travel, USA